SOME FLOWERS LIKE MEMORIES NEVER FADE

Dr. Donna Mann

Recently my future daughter-in-law asked, "What kind of flower would you like for your corsage?" Without hesitation, I replied, "Peach coloured Sweetheart roses." 

We can often identify men and women with favourite flowers. This is helpful when we want to continue remembering loved ones in our life. 

Flowers symbolize life, fragrance and colour. They have been used in all passages of life to bring beauty. They can also be very helpful in the grief process when remembering.

 

It is good to prepare a special place in the garden or in the house to pause and remember the life and witness of the person you love. At our new property, I planted a memory garden: pansies to remember Doug's grandmother who had plates, cup and saucers with all colours of pansies. Poppies for his father, who never attempted to grow another flower, but had a beautiful row of red poppies every summer. A row of African violets in front of my kitchen window reminds me of Doug's mother and a good friend to me.

Dahlias for my mother who carefully brought up the bulbs from the cellar every spring, divided the bulbs and planted them every spring. A rail fence brings to mind my father, who spent many hours fixing fence on the farm. We chose a cedar rail with ivy and wild flowers as a casket covering for his funeral - this seemed more appropriate than perfectly arranged flowers. Why do I choose lilacs to remember my grandfather? After fishing, we would clean the fish on an old board under the lilac trees at the back of his house.

A Calla Lilly, white and pure is how I remember our daughter. Although I can't seem to grow them, I often buy them and place them in church in her memory. What I can grow it seems is a patch of wild sweet-pea and since this was a pet name for her, it gives me great delight to see the stems weaving their way to the top of the rail fence.

Build a memory garden this spring on your windowsill or in the back yard. Remember your loved ones with the flowers that come to mind when you think of them. Place a favourite chair and let this space become holy ground for you as you remember, meditate on and celebrate your relationship with your loved ones.